Get Out The Lead

Kirk Carter@ Chew Bear Productions@ Copyright 2016

GET OUT THE LEAD

As I sat in the ER, waiting for the word;

The Nurse said, "You might not make it!", I thought, "How absurd!"

My time was up, or so I thought;

The drinking reached it's peak and I got caught!

But...turns out, that wasn't the case;

The worst had happened, but it still was such a waste.

So, why such a destructive fool;

"We're here to help!", they sad, "It's the Hospital rule!"

I questioned myself, "God can you hear me, are you near me?"

Waiting for an answer, seemed like wasted time;

Would the Lord actually go drop a dime?

And, why save me...when so many deserved the chance;

They were better than me, but for them...no second dance!

How grateful I felt, with reserved thought;

Did I just make a deal with the Devil, did I just get bought?

Turns out, it was none of that, I had purpose being here;

It just didn't include drinking Vodka and Beer...

To accomplished said goals, leaving a Legacy behind;

Being someone important, really blew my mind!

Having an epiphany of sorts, it all came together;

God guides me, not you, not me, or the weather!

A new beginning, without sinning, no needle or bowl;

My habits almost did me in, put me six feet in the hole.

I'm happy, healthy, and joyous,my future all reborn and new;

I will not go back to the booze rack, simply too many things to do...

So, remember...you have a purpose, it's a smile in God's eyes;

Live your life with forward thought, and not one full of lies.

You were put here for a reason, focus on the task ahead;

You stayed here for a purpose, now go Get Out The Lead!

                                                                             Kirk Carter

                                                                          3/31/2016

Looking Back

Kirk Carter@ Chew Bear Productions@ Copyright 2016

LOOKING BACK

Coming into this world, destiny already sewn;

Things you didn't see coming, things you couldn't condone.

Brief reflection of Spiritual guidance, just follow the trail;

As your experiences into adulthood, suddenly start to fail?

Wait...what happened to my auto-program, as you begin to fall from the tree;

Can I stop this sudden collapse, falling down on me?

And then you reach the bottom, lonely to be for sure;

As you find yourself in the muck, so deep in the manure!

But, as you find your spirit, guiding you up the rope;

As you get better, no longer a debtor, the promise, and the hope...

Back to normal you become, your starting to get the knack;

Of finding sobriety, being yourself, and never ever Looking Back!

                                                                     Kirk Carter

                                                                  3/31/2016

You Won The Fight

Kirk Carter@ Chew Bear Productions@ Copyright 2016

YOU WON THE FIGHT

Down day of sorrow, elementary in it's beginning;

Your told of avoiding excess, yet you think your really winning!

What confusion of the senses, what turmoil to the soul;

Your sickness multiplying, as you light up another bowl...

How simple it could have been, if you could have quit that early;

Trying to chase that first high, as you get all mad and surly.

So, as you see yourself again, coming in, off the stage;

Trying to put effort in being straight, rather than self-pity and rage!

You'll be OK, with God's Love, everybody has a chance;

Of cleaning up, renewed again, invited to the dance.

You've got too much to give, and you can do this, too;

Put your request to your higher power, in everything you do!

Dreams will come to the surface, as reality starts to set in;

You'll forget about days gone past, your forgiven of all your Sin.

Restart your winning elements, those things of who you be;

You'll be floating on self-success, for everyone to see.

And don't reflect, but rather direct, your energy toward the light;

Be proud of yourself, as your moving forward, in victory You Won The Fight!

                                                                          Kirk Carter

                                                                      3/31/2016

Standing All Alone

Kirk Carter@ Chew Bear Productions@ Copyright 2016

STANDING ALL ALONE

Phone rings...it's 7:30, my morning reminder to write;

Get something down that they will like, do it by tonight!

Room goes small, can't see out the window at all, thoughts already worn;

Ice cubes have melted, bug bite's have welted, my pages all torn.

To conceive under pressure, time moving fast, hope my pen holds out;

Script seems wrong, like an ill conceived song, let's twist and shout!

Writing seems amusing, as long as they're not accusing, what I have to say;

If it works out, knock on wood, I'll see some pay!

By myself, yet not alone, I turn off my phone, things seem to gel;

All I see is blank paper, being filled line by line, the Writer's Hell!

More than a topic, kind of myopic, think outside the box;

Looking down, I make no sound, where in the hell did I get these socks?

Who cares about the weather, pollens up, yet I do not sneeze;

Getting into the passion, creating satisfaction, just trying to please...

Coherent potion, to fantasies in motion, I create the Candlelight;

To keep you glued, I first get you removed, from the twist of Moral Blight!

A Dream weaver, making you the believer, what's next on my plate?

Could be made up, looks real yet funny, something you like or hate!

And just where have I been, pretending to Sin, the Pen never lies;

Suicidal with a false idol, yet no one really dies...

Complexity too complex, simple...yet no allure, does your Hero even care;

Just get through the show, did he cheat, who would know, do you wish to share?

Just dropping Jargon, on a Bargain, cheap thoughts always fulfill:

Moments out of your day, now "Whatta Ya Say", this ending I have to seal...

So, there's the magic to looking tragic, my Plot line is now Sewn;

To hearing voices, with so many choices, yet here I am...Standing All Alone!

                                                                                            Kirk Carter

                                                                                         3/30/2016

Remembrance

Kirk Carter@ Chew Bear Productions@ Copyright 2016

REMEMBRANCE  

Curse the way time limits us, to be that of which we wish;
It's elements perplex, the spirits within, it's purely selfishness.
Not fair, I proclaim, I feel so alone, yet we are all the same!

And devotion is key factor, in obtaining what we desire;
The trilogies, the avenues, the courage, and the fire!
To see what could be, beyond just allure;
The Heavenly purpose, to promise what's pure.

But,I still balance issues, is it really worth the trouble;
Of placing so much hope, to what could turn to rubble?
Still...in my heart, no matter how much I show;
I count my blessings, say a prayer, and just let it go...

I'm sad, but glad,to have shared these times;
Two passing on their way, the wayward minds.
But remembrance is important, as our future unwinds;
There may be reason for the distance, please release these binds!

And through prayer, all I can do is be purposeful and be Me;
Hoping your safe, knowing that your free...
And although, one would think I would be sad and blue;
I'm smiling...in spirit, we're together, too!

                                 

                       


                                                                 Kirk Carter
                                                              3/30/2016

Promise Me Tomorrow

Kirk Carter@ Chew Bear Productions@ Copyright 2016

PROMISE ME TOMORROW

As time moves forward, some days seem to drag;

Other days are off running, like an uncivilized game of tag.

Through it all I try to get the most out of each and every day;

Take time to worship God, see what he has to say...

As I take my first step forward, pushing agenda, constantly pacing the floor;

Seeing results as projects end, always wanting more.

I hold your hand in my heart, validate me with warming touch;

This is all too true to believe, so please...let's not rush!

We are only here for the moment, by ourselves, or together we share;

Learning each other's idiosyncrasies, is the challenge we must dare.

Our shrine, our focus concludes, that just doing nothing is not the cure;

To be interactive, our primary reactive, the challenge is the real allure.

So, as the clock ticks and you wonder, what could we make out of this;

What a remarkable calling, when we find ourselves falling, into what could be wondrous bliss!

Put value to solace...be creative, be reactive and avoid the sorrow;

Of days all alone, no hand hold, no phone, please just Promise Me Tomorrow!

                                                                     

                                                                      Kirk Carter

                                                                   3/30/2016

HOLY STRINGS

Kirk Carter@ Chew Bear Productions@ Copyright 2015

HOLY STRINGS

It was a cold wintry morning in New York City, as Jennifer eagerly packed her Cello into it's carry case. She was a senior at Julliard and had placed 5th out in her final recital, which barely qualified her for the New York Music Commission's annual annual charity drive.

She was allowed for one day to play her instrument amongst the certified musician regulars down in the bowels of the subway system. Her chosen charity was Saint Anne's Orphanage. She had pledged to raise $2500 dollars toward the cause. Getting down to her selected placement, she was to sit between stairway #1 and #2 off the "A" train. Wearing a flowing Chiffon dress, proper heels, and a white rose in her hair, she unzipped her case and began to pluck her strings for tuning.

She started with "Hark The Herald Angel Sing", then segued into Bach's "French Suite #3", then back with a rendition of "Jingle Bells" and so on. Business seemed good, as her case had accumulated about $700 by lunch time. Some people would hustle by dropping a 5 or ten dollar bill, and still others would actually stop, gazing on Jennifer's angelic qualities...she was a stunning woman, but her artistic style, her fingering and bow balance was simply amazing!

And then it happened, quite out of the blue, her "E" string popped at the beginning of Handel's "Messiah". She became frustrated at first, trying to work around the problem with unstructured sixth chords and improper phrasing, then to just simple notes. Her concern about the situation was starting to show, her admirers were not stopping, fewer and fewer bills were falling into her case...she was starting to get worried!

She became increasingly overwhelmed and beside herself. At one point, she actually stopped, undid the broken string and literally tied it back together. It actually made the sound even worse. It soured and lacked any resemblance of harmonic voice...the stress was overbearing...then, she simply stopped.

She made an unconscious cross to her forehead and ask God to forgive her. She asked to "Please let Sister Anne know how hard she had tried, but she had no money for new strings, it was her heart to play, but her tools and resources had failed her."

She sat in silence for a moment, picked up her bow and attempted "Silent Night", this time in "G", no chords, just a basic skeleton notion. Suddenly, a pair of feet in Sandles appeared in her cast down vision. She attempted to raise her head to see who it was, but all she could make out was a hand that seemed to glow, come to her fret board and seemingly grasp it. Holding the instrument in their hand for a second, the hand withdrew, leaving behind brand new strings, the instrument itself was also in perfect tune. "Simply amazing!", she thought.

She tried to speak, move her head, show emotion, anything...but she was watching all this take place as though watching it through a thick window where no one would hear or see her repeated request to identify themselves. No sooner had the new strings miraculously appeared on her Cello,  but the vision of Sandles was replaced with a pair of common tennis shoes, connected to a smiling boy who immediately asked if she was okay? 

Looking at the boy, she realized that he appeared to be about the same age as she was. She could only smile, as he gazed back saying, "Could you place something please?"with a smile, with a sense of passion to his tone of voice, "Hey, could you play that Peanuts song, that Charlie Brown thing...the one Linus plays on Christmas...can you do that on that thing?"

Jennifer smiled, completely overjoyed with everything that had just happened, his presence seemed to sum up many miracles that had been given to her, just out of no where, under the strangest of circumstances. She smiled, "Of course...it's one of my favorites too!"
And with that, she looked down, trying to lock down her notation, and with a B flat index she proceeded to play. Da, da dat, dah, dah, dah, da, da dat, etc. She looked up briefly to see his 
expression, but he was gone, seemingly just vanished. She didn't stop playing however, as a crowd had generated around her, all in simple amazement at the brightness, the clarity of her notion, with an unusual strength and volume she had never witnessed, at least not from her hands.

As the night came to an end, one of the security guards came over to assist Jennifer with disassembling her little stage area, making sure she safely picked up her property. "Miss Jennifer, you did okay tonight...never heard anybody play like you do...you got magic in them fingers, you surely do girl!" Jennifer smiled, "Well, thank you so much...and for helping me and everything...that's very sweet of you...but I think I can manage."

The security guard taking note on what was in her collection bag, and he gasped, "My goodness, sake's alive, somebody must like you, somebody an awful lot Miss Jennifer?"
With that Jennifer looked in the Cello bag herself seeing not one, but two large 1 pound bars of gold. She was now trying to catch her breath, as she put her hand out to touch these rare golden commodities, never having actually seen one up close. The trip back to her dorm was a long one, but she made it. 

After she ate some dinner, she went through the coins, and the cash, and of course those gold bars which she figured were at least 50 thousand dollars each, still shaking her head as to how those items appeared to start with!

When the final tally was calculated, she had somehow managed to raise almost $260, 000. Over ten times what she expected to receive for Saint Anne's Orphanage. As time past, the Parishioners had decided that they would extend the Orphanage and actually added a whole wing, calling it Jennifer's Row, in honor of her efforts to raise the funding. There was a festive reception in her honor, it was all quite lovely, and she even spoke a few words, even admitting  to herself that she still couldn't understand the miracles that had occurred that night she played in the subway.

The miracles continued when the New York Philharmonic had gathered to establish contracted placements for the Spring rotation, Jennifer was offered 1st spot Cello in the string assembly. She would go on head to teach music, and even to this day, always wonder the miracles alluded to her that day, in belief, she saw God at work, in her presence...an event that would stay with her forever, as she dedicated herself to God's work for the rest of her life!




                                                     Kirk Carter
                                                                    12/16/2015