Compassion In Fashion

Kirk Carter@ Chew Bear Productions@ Copyright 2015

COMPASSION IN FASHION

Compassion, seems so out of fashion;

With precarious flare, do we dare, does one care, full circle...we share!

Think it worthless to show purpose, in a troubled time;

After all, it's your life...your dime?

Maybe a simple prayer, be silent...who knows;

Of what the stress has taken, it shows.

And before you forgive compassion's rule;

Look at the creative school...

Of emotions in disarray;

It's one thing to be something, glowing like a pumpkin;

It's the price of being different, your way!

So the focus look, like water in a brook;

It's distance close but running by;

Compassion is not out of fashion, showing your feelings to and fro;

For those just getting by!

Efforts toward perfection, the infection of those who fail to quit;

Be loyal to your loved ones, see the reality of ageing, do not give up and sit...

Not anyone is perfect, yet some closer than most;

Give them credit for doing so well, so high on the post...

But, for most we fail and try again, humans bound back once more;

And just when you think you got it, something came up and shot it...

Once again finding yourself on the floor!

Other be watching your movement, through variable plause;

As you get to your feet, claiming no defeat;

 You are the contender of cause...

So, feel the emotion, the potion of care, as one defy's certain doom;

It's the coding of compassion, that should always be in fashion;

Facts first...don't always assume!

Kirk Carter

Soho, New York

Fish Grabber

Kirk Carter@ Chew Bear Productions@ Copyright 2015

Acct. Script copy 51614

Client: Ramco

FISH GRABBER

HEY FISHERMEN, SICK AND TIRED OF MESSY WORMS, CRICKETS THAT WON'T  STAY ON THE HOOK, AND HUMMING ARTIFICIAL LURES INTO THE WATER TILL YOUR ARMS FALL OFF?

HOLD ON!

NOW THERE'S "FISH GRABBER", A SPECIALLY DESIGNED COMPUTER CONTROLLED FISH SEEKER, WHICH HUNTS DOWN YOUR FISH AUTOMATICALLY!

REMEMBER THOSE DAYS OF BRINGING CLUNKY RIFLES TO YOUR FAVORITE FISHING HOLE, JUST TO WASTE AMMUNITION AND BE ARRESTED BY THE COPS?

AMMUNITION IS EXPENSIVE AND NOISY, AND LET'S FACE IT, (UNLESS YOU LIVE IN TEXAS, WHERE IF YOU FIND IT MOVING, YOU CAN LEGALLY JUST KILL IT), INCARCERATION JUST RUINS THE DAY...FOR A FISH DINNER, REALLY?

 I DON'T KNOW ABOUT YOU, BUT AFTER SEVERAL DAYS OF BINGE DRINKING, FIRE ARMS ARE THE LAST THING YOU NEED TO BE CARRYING AROUND. FISH DON'T STAY STILL IN THE WATER, ALL THAT CONSTANT MOVING AROUND DRIVES MOST OF US NUTS! HOW ARE YOU GUARANTEED ANYTHING TO EAT IF YOUR NOT ANY GOOD AT SHOOTING THINGS THAT AREN'T GOING TO STAY STILL?

NOT TO WORRY!

SIMPLY CAST THE POWERED "FISH GRABBER" CARTRIDGE IN TO THE WATER AS YOU WOULD A USUAL LURE...AND WITHIN SECONDS IT'S SPECIAL IR SENSORS SEEK OUT THE CLOSEST FISH, AND THE CHASE IS ON!

IT'S TWIN ELECTRIC TURBO WARP SYSTEM COMES TO LIFE (POWERED BY CESIUM RADIOACTIVE PELLETS) IT CAN EASILY ACHIEVE 180 MILES PER HOUR... AND IN MERE SECONDS IT CLOSES IN ON IT'S PREY, PROVIDING THE SELECTED FISH WITH TOTALLY NO CHANCE OF ESCAPING.

WATCH PAPA CHUCKLE AS HE OPENS THE REEL, WHILE THE "FISH GRABBER" COMES TO LIFE, AND THE DESPOOLING TAKES PLACE...TRUE FAMILY ENJOYMENT, AS THE FISH BECOMES QUICKLY EXHAUSTED AND READILY SUBMITS TO CAPTURE.

FROM THERE, LET TECHNOLOGY DO THE DIRTY WORK, AS IT'S MECHANICAL CLAWS GRAB THE WORN OUT FISH BY THE TAIL, WHILE SENDING YOU A TEXT ON YOUR SMARTPHONE APP TO "REEL IN".

A FRESHLY CAUGHT FISH IS SOON IN YOUR NET...A FRESH FISH DINNER SOON AWAITS YOUR FAMILY!

WHAT COULD BE SIMPLER?

THIS IS TECHNOLOGY THAT HAS TED WILLIAMS TURNING IN HIS GRAVE!

BUT WAIT...LET'S BETTER THE DEAL...FOR A LIMITED TIME ONLY, FOR AN EXTRA $259.95, WE WILL INCLUDE THE AUTOMATED REEL, COMPUTERIZED HUMMING POLE, "ACTION CAMERA",  "THE FISH GRABBER", AND AN UNDERWATER STORAGE BOX WHICH AUTOMATICALLY CATCHES AND STORES YOUR FISH UNDETECTED TILL YOUR READY TO LEAVE. HOW PERFECT IS THAT?

WHO NEEDS THE HASSLE OF A FISHING LICENSE WHEN YOU DON'T EVEN SEEM TO BE FISHING TO START WITH?

FOR THE FIRST 1000 CUSTOMERS WE'LL EVEN THROW IN A TWO YEAR SUPPLY OF CESIUM PELLETS...YOU CAN AUTO FISH EVERY DAY...WHAT A LIFE!

ORDER NOW!

PLEASE CALL 1-800--FISH GRAB

YOUR "FISH GRABBER" WILL BE BILLED TO YOUR MASTERCARD OR VISA AT $1,200

AUTOMATED "FISH GRABBER FOR $1,459.95

OR JUST PAY A MONTHLY INSTALLMENT OF $25 FOR THE REST OF YOUR WAKING LIFE.

HAPPY FISHING

From the makers of the "Robot Dog Walker" and the "Deer Hunt Rifle Drone"
RAMCO-Abusing Technology Wherever We Can!



p.s. Don't even ask...I was apparently out of my mind over the weekend and I tapped this out.
Seemed to be amusing anyway...please forgive my idiocy here...

Kirk Carter

Soho, New York

Mom's Make The World Go Around!

Kirk Carter@ Chew Bear Productions@ Copyright 2015

MOM'S MAKE THE WORLD GO AROUND!

Once I said, if left to the guys;

There would be no baby's, there would be no pies!

Women are special, but Mother's gain glee;

From Women to Mother...for all of us to see!

But beauty to focus, commit to new life;

Whether she's to herself or be a wife.

It's that considerable durability, her ability...

The mind set of going full term, what agility...

Men folk can only stare and wonder;

As her hormones peak out and thunder.

What must be going through her mind;

Her body all contorted, all out of line?

But, she smiles, despite the pain, the weight gain;

Almost feels like she's going insane!

And the kicking and the cravings, unborn misbehaving;

Being a Mother...is nocturnal enslaving!

But, then it happens, through labor and the sweat;

Here come baby, all gooey and wet!

A smile comes to her face, but work has just begun;

Is it a girl...or is it a son?

The commitment to her partner, man or girl;

Is what makes Mom's special, it rules our world...

So, Happy Mother's Day, to all that endure;

Mom's make the world go around...that be for sure!

P.S. This is dedicated to the memory of my Mom, who still wakes me up in spirit each day, and to the blessings of my sister Kat...without her guidance and belief in me at earlier periled times, I simply would not exist. Bless you girls, All My Love!

Kirk Carter

Soho, New York

Booty Tush Bass Pad

Kirk Carter@ Chew Bear Productions@ Copyright 2015

BOOTY TUSH BASS PAD

This is a design based on resonating the buttocks natural fat lipids which are active in the 1.7 and 2.8 hertz range. The device uses Inductive Reactance and Harmonic Resonance to perform it's magic. With the input of just a smartphone as your preamp, you create a field of energy in that range from the primariy ribbon of magnetic winding's of the padded pillow you sit on, it transmits it's energy to the fat lipids in that region, creating vibration within the body itself.

This feels fantastic!

With a descent mid-range and treble set of headphones or ear buds, one can achieve levels of compression that you would only get in a sealed studio, perhaps a car, or better yet...a live concert!

The Booty Tush Bass Pad makes no actual sound to a person sitting next to the one sitting on the pad, but they may hear music emanating from one's buttock region. As their eyes are rolled back and enjoying the experience, envy just might ensue!

Specifications

Frequency response-flat magnetic resonance at 2 hertz to 150 kilohertz

(Dependent on lucidity of the fat lipids in the buttocks)

Output is measured at 150 decibels at fat to body weight of 10%

2 watts measured at 8 ohms

Battery life (expectancy)

12 volt/ 1.5 amp hour (about an expected 5 hours between charges)

Charge time: About 2 hours

Suggested price with transducer, plug in battery pack, walking butt strap, and concealing pillow $85

Expected limited release 11/ 2015

Kirk Carter

Chew Bear Productions

Soho, New York