Kirk Carter@ Chew Bear Productions@ Copyright 2014
THE CURSE OF THE WRITER
This is a simple self-observation of a writer, a mind-set...
Beyond the point of wanting to jot an idea or two down, developing a script from basically nothing, originating a plot line, originating characters, giving them personalities, their idiosyncrasies, direction, and passions, it's a self-absorption of my personal abilities to create from what seems to be thin air, when in reality my major influences come from my buds up in the spirit world...I just work the pen so to speak!
It's a self-absorbing passion either way, as you either devote yourself to the craft or coast along it's brows never making a real commitment. I compare my focus, to equate a passion, fetish, almost medicinal against some fear of complacency...can't have that!
As one who in previous, played the businessman, technician, and engineer for many years, I found frustration in never putting ideas on paper. I stared at piles of uncompleted scripts, outlines, and scenarios which never came to fruition...frustrated with what was missing within myself, I qualm the silence by drinking a lot. I know, that's a poor excuse, but in retrospect, but in a strange way...I had to experience that part of my life to understand, to appreciate the gift I was given...like the Blues, you can't feel the emotion unless you've been there.
But, the point is, I eventually dropped everything to become that writer I had always envisioned. I tool a tremendous penalty for following through with my perceived selfishness, but in a way...it was rebirth of faith, within myself, from the passing of my Mom, and for all the Loved one's around me, that never quite understood my direction!
I've never been an easy person to know. Entertainers by nature are either glib, egotistical, or so private your not sure where they're coming from? But, whether your in front of the camera, behind it, or just standing to the side, your work must provide that misunderstood frenzy, that need, that desire to entertain your audience, big or small...
Each writer has their own voice, that's probably why I watch so little of other's work. It's my way of ensuring that my plots and story lines are original, entertaining, and most importantly, there's never any problem with being typecast or called down for being plagiarised!
Just like many hobbies and professions, there are many Writer's Clubs, group discussions, and panels of so-called experts who think they know what's best. I'm not one to attend these functions, as I feel as though I'm just wasting time, when I could be constructing content!
All and all, it appears lonely and repetitive...and I would say yes, it can be misunderstood by others. But, like anything in life, it's a passion, it satisfies me, and ultimately I "will" leave behind a body of work long after I have expired. Stay tuned, I have a lot of blank pages to fill in...
Kirk Carter
January 22, 2014
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