Triacs- Accidental Resonance (1)

Kirk Carter@ WGA Copyright 2014

TRIACS (1)

ACCIDENTAL RESONANCE

OPENING SCENE

INT: DOCTOR BROACHES RESIDENCE AND LAB-CULVER CITY, CA.-A.M.

DOCTOR BEN BROACH AND HIS WIFE CLARE, BEN BEING A DOCTORATE IN ELECTRICAL ENGINEERING, AND CLAIRE BEING A BACHELOR OF THEORETICAL SCIENCE ARE WORKING ON A RESEARCH STUDY TO FIND ECONOMICAL WAYS OF ACHIEVING HIGH DENSITY MICROWAVE FREQUENCIES BY USING LESS EXPENSIVE LOWER FREQUENCY OSCILLATORS AND MIXING THEIR ASSOCIATED OUTPUTS INTO A MIXING CAVITY TO ACHIEVE FREQUENCY MULTIPLICATION THAT CAN BE MANIPULATED BY INSERTING A VARIABLE THIRD HARMONIC OSCILLATOR

THESE STUDIES ARE BEING PARTIALLY FUNDED BY SIEMENS, LASER TECHNOLOGIES, AND THE UNIVERSITY OF SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA

THEY HAVE MANY PATENTS UNDER THEIR NAME FOR OTHER COMMUNICATIONS INVENTIONS, DESIGNS, AND CONCEPTS

THEY LIVE IN WORK IN A SMALL LABORATORY WITHIN THE CONFINES OF THEIR APARTMENT. ANOTHER DAY ON THE TEST BENCH FOR BEN, AS HE INTRODUCES YET ANOTHER OSCILLATOR TO HIS MIXING BLOCK

HIS WIFE CLARE IS IN AND OUT OF THE ROOM, TRYING TO GET LUNCH TOGETHER WHILE KEEPING AN EYE ON BEN'S ACTIVITIES AND SAFETY

AS HE PULLS TOGETHER A SUBSET OF FREQUENCIES, SUDDENLY A VIBRATIONAL RESONANCE IS SENSED BY BEN, THE WHOLE BENCH STARTS TO MILDLY SHAKE


BEN

"Hey Claire, I think something is happening here...come here.

SHE WALKS OVER AND LOOKS AT LARGE SPECTRUM ANALYZER, NOTICING A NUMBER OF HARMONIC SPIKES EDGING OFF THE TOP OF THE SCALE


CLAIRE

"That's amazing how you can acheive so much potential from so little input power...it looks like two hundred times in amplification, what study is this one on?"


BEN

"Well, I'm suppose to be looking for the baseline frequency's of hydrogen, since this occurs in three separate areas of the total bandwidth starting at 7.2 hertz, then we have mid-band, which looks to be 142.6 megahertz, and finally we've synthesized a cavity at 62.720 gigahertz in the microwave sector, this creates a sonic cluster where the progressive log causes kind of a triaxial feedback between the three frequencies which create the amazing amount of gain you see there...see?"

CLAIRE LOOKING LIKE A DEER STARING INTO HEADLIGHTS


CLAIRE

"Yea, right Ben, whatever you say...this stuff is way beyond anything I've ever messed with, but it looks like your on to something...I'll hand it to you there!"


BEN

"I have'nt really locked the frequencies up yet, I'm still on the outside perimeters of one of these guys...it must be my mid, because it keeps drifting...but it could be the oscillator I'm using."


CLAIRE

"Why don't you try bringing up the amplitude on the middle and see if that does anything?"

BEN STARTS TO SLOWLY BRING UP THE VOLTAGE ON THE MIDDLE FREQUENCY GENERATOR, BENCH STOPS RATTLING, AND THE INPUT FEEDS ON THE FREQUENCY MULTIMIXER START TO GET HOT, INSULATION ON WIRES START TO MELT SLIGHTLY, THEN FROM THE HALLWAY CLOSET, A DOUBLE-BARRELED SHOTGUN THEY STORE IN THEIR HOUSE FOR PROTECTION, JUST GOES OFF BOTH BARRELS, BY ITSELF

BEN AND CLAIRE JUST STARE AT EACH OTHER

BEN

"What in hell was that...that's not what I think it was, huh?"

GOING TO HALLWAY, HE SEE'S WHITE PUFFS OF SMOKE COMING FROM TOP OF HALL CLOSET DOOR


CLAIRE

"No, don't open it Ben, your just going to give it oxygen, let's check outside in the back first!"


BEN

"Good thought, hope the wall's still there!"

BOTH OF THEM RUNNING AROUND BACK, THEY SEE HUGE 3 FOOT OPEN GASH WHERE SHOTGUN HAS DISCHARGED


CLAIRE

"Well, my little mad sceintist, I'm not sure if you hit the resonant frequencies of hydrogen, but there's one thing you may have invented here?"


BEN

"What brillance did I manage to stumble upon this time, my Love?"


CLAIRE

"The remote shotgun!"

BOTH LAUGHING


BEN

"Come on, let's get some plywood over this hole before the neighbors notice anything..."


CLAIRE

"Not much more you can do now, most of your project is just about melted...yea, I'm going to have to go back later and see what the data is saying.


BEN

"Who would buy a remote shotgun anyway?"


CLAIRE

"I don't know Hon...maybe someone who likes to hunt ducks from their car?"


BOTH LAUGHING



scene close

2013 Has Jumped The Shark

Kirk Carter@ Chew Bear Productions@ 2013

2013 HAS JUMPED THE SHARK

2013 has jumped the shark;

Thought you'd be good...boy, what a lark!

Lost my ass on production fees;

And now my account is all a freeze.

Now 2014 is coming in;

Hope this one is the one;

Hope this one is the win!

Lost a lot of Buds last year;

Not sure if it was health, an accident, drugs, or beer.

But there is one thing for sure, my spirits pure;

So I'll try my best to avoid the manure.

So, we get new insurance, laws, taxes, too;

Good times a coming, it's all a new.

Put your best foot forward, take out the drama;

Make you some coins, say good bye to Obama!

Just push it aside, as you skirt the tide;

Of self-devotion, not suicide.

And 2014, be the perfect time;

When we make our statement, create that dime.

The Myan's 13th to 14th, of Octarian Creed;

We're all we've got, we're all we need.

To feed focus to experience, as the planet spins along;

And 2014, sing a brand new song...let's just get along!

Because what really matters, is you did your best, you tried;

As another round of our buddies, were just called up and died.

But for the living, we have purpose, as the youth guide the way;

Won't be long till I'm called up, really don't have much of a say.

In the meantime, stay aware;

Give some care, to your fellow man, if you dare!

And make your mark, do your thing;

As we we make our march through 2014.

We made it this far, to try and get it right;

This year will be the battle, for clever insight.

So, take solace that I'm with you, prayers, dreams, and sweat;

Looks like 2014 will be a winner, and yes...a pretty good bet!

So, pin up the new calender and do what you should;

Everybody good luck, take care, stay positive, be good...Happy New Year!

The Christmas Tree

Kirk Carter@ Chew Bear Productions@ Copyright 2013

THE CHRISTMAS TREE

Christmas smiles, positive dreams;

Morning anxiety, all that it seems.

But being there, before the tree;

A mix of emotion, for all to see.

Of past thoughts, we all endure;

Of a past Christmas, gifts we assure.

And then the moments, the ones we remember;

When we were kids, long about December.

So, we focus, on what's it about;

The birth of Jesus, without a doubt.

And why it remained, with obvious intent;

As children of God, we are so content.

And promise of Love, to all that hear;

As we beat the drums, for all to hear.

That Christ has a birthday, we gather once more;

Around the tree, our spirits will soar.

Than to be blessed, and blessed again;

Of one's disability, of positive sin.

And though not intentional, it happens throughout;

Happens to you and me, without a doubt.

So, we ask God, to quench our soul;

Give us redemption, get us out of this hole!

And be alive and saved, from doubtful fate;

We believe you see us, hope we aren't too late!

Wishing you a Happy Birthday, and with some glee;

Standing before my token, the Christmas Tree...

MERRY CHRISTMAS

Claire The Christmas Camel

Kirk Carter@ Chew Bear Productions@ Copyright 2013

CLAIRE THE CHRISTMAS CAMEL

There was this camel named Claire, who was wandering around the desert, not knowing what to do, because her old man Larry just lost in a Camel race, was killed and quickly eaten by a gang of misguided Sheep herders.

These were men who had no Sheep, because they had killed and eaten them all, along with their cruel fetish of bestiality, meaning the Sheep were always limping, couldn't walk straight, constantly making right hand turns out into the desert, making the whole idea of Sheep herding an almost impossible burden for this group of losers!

Anyway, Claire was trying her best to avoid being the next meal by this group of men who were looking for her, wandering around themselves, hungry for Camel.

She had just visited Jane's Oasis and was well packed with two full humps of water, heading to Damascus for a little R & R, hopeful with trying to find a new Camel Daddy, who she could hang with, maybe pass some time, hump! After all, the now passed Larry liked it twice a day, and she was feeling pretty horny despite all the drama...

Along around midnight, not anywhere close to an oasis, she saw this bright star. 

She just stood there for about an hour, staring into the sky figuring either it was an exploding star, maybe just another UFO which see never really believed in, but was at least open to discussion, when suddenly she heard strange voices off in the distance.

It appeared to be be three guys, apparently all excited about something, she was thinking, "Probably just buzzed on Peyote buttons, as there wasn't much to do out in the desert to start with, might as well just get stoned!"

So, she just stood there, not wanting to draw attention, but yet, these three guys continued approaching in her direction.

She could have moved, but she figured, "What the hell, I miss Larry already, maybe they'll just kill and eat me, it's inevitable...let's just get this misery over with!"

Instead, as they approached, they did seem stoned, but not on Peyote or anything pharmaceutical, but joyous and happy about an event or concert or something?

The first dude walked up and asked her name?

She said, "Claire, just lost my old man to a Camel race, and they ate him, would you guy's like to eat me?"

They just just stood still, looking at one another, not sure what to say.

The second dude replied, "All we know is that we heard that they eat well, must have been those crazy Sheep herder's, crazy perverts!"

The third dude, smiling...said, "We're 3 Wise Men, we are following the star for the birth of Christ...we are without management as we speak!"

Claire responded, "It is probably just a UFO, perhaps a Mother Ship, I wouldn't get to excited, they're always showing up when you least expect it...nothing to get too concerned about!"

The second guy said, "No my lovely Camel with the beautiful humps, it's the Birth of Christ, we're already RSVP'ed, it's a party like no other!"

The first guy said, "Like we said...we're The Three Kings, the group...I brought some Gold!"

The second guy said, "I brought some Silver!"

The third guy, kicking some sand said, "Well I brought some mirth...it was on mark-down, 99 cent store!"

Claire just stood there staring at these three crazy guys, "What have you guys been smoking?"

The first one said, "We're high on the Lord!"

The second one said, "Christ the King, this is his birthday, the birth is coming!"

The third one just said, "I dunno, it's a gig...this is what happens when you don't have good management!"

Suddenly, out in the distance you could hear dozens of men coming their way.

It was the deranged Sheep herders heading in their direction, what would Claire and The Three Kings do?

The first guy just said, "Hey, let's tone it down a bit...we're just The Three Wise Men...roll with it!"

Claire looked confused, "Well what about me, what am I, chopped liver?"

The third guy just said, "No, just a big hunk of Camel girl!"

The second guy said, "Hey, we got all these goodies, we need to hide them somewhere?"

As the gang approached, they quickly put the gold and silver in the plastic bag that the mirth was in, figuring who in the world would think there was anything of value in a plastic 99 cent store bag?

They stuck the bag between Claire's humps, in the night, the plastic bag reflected the bright light of the Christ star, it was a good look for her, she smiled, "Thanks guys, now what do we do?"

The first King said, "Unless you want to be invited to the wrong side of the dinner table, I highly suggest you run like hell!"

The gang of wanna be Sheep herders spotted them, seeing Claire already on the menu, the losers went into full attack mode, now running...well sort of?

Claire, with her height, sees the encroachment said, "I agree, let's split this dune, come on boys, climb on...won't be the first time I've done three guys, use'd to run a taxi down in Tel Aviv, come on, let's go!"

So, Claire and The Three Wise Men made it to the The Manger, kind of a run down place, harboring animals and the Birth of a Christ child without permits, no running water, kind of place where the last thing you were thinking was whether they HBO or not...

As they entered, they all fell to their knees, seeing Baby Jesus in all his glory.

The third king asked Mary, "Who does your make-up, you look awesome?"

Mary smiled and spoke softly, "Thank you for showing up in time for this spiritual creation, this moment in time when Jesus has been born...who's the Camel?"

Claire smiled, "I know you probably won't write anything about me being here, I don't have an agent yet, sorry for barging in, but I had to give these guys a lift, heard it was like the most wondrous thing the world has ever experienced...couldn't just bounce on that!

Mary smiled, "I'll hook you up, got a friend at William Morris, don't think he's ever done a Camel before, who did your humps?"

Claire smiled, "Well thank you 'Mame..."

Mary said, "Hey, just call me Mary, everybody calls me Mary, I get around!"

Claire continued, "Well Mary, I was going to sing a Christmas song for you and the guys, would you mind, the humps are natural, I didn't have any work done, let's sing something, okay?"

"The first dude says, "How about We Three Kings...it's on the Billboard Top 10, crowds go nuts when we do it?"

The third dude asked again, "So who does your make-up, that must be some foundation you got on there?"

Mary looks at him firmly and says, "God as my Saviour your irritating, you must be the one that brought that cheap-ass Mirth, figured it was you!"

The third guy said, "It was discounted...it was a good deal, don't lose your head over it, okay?

Mary said as we finish, "The make-up is Clinique...off the shelf...CVS, the lights are Industrial Light and Magic, and this is the day of the Birth of Christ Our Lord. Merry Christmas to all!

The third guy asked, "So, ah...who's the Baby Daddy?"

The End 

Bob-The Jellyfish That Saved Christmas

Kirk Carter@ Chew Bear Productions@ Copyright 2013

BOB-THE JELLYFISH THAT SAVED CHRISTMAS

Christmas was coming soon, the seahorse, starfish, and clams were depressed again.

This time of year never worked for them.

They were too deep in the ocean, and Santa could never find them.

Peggy the Porpoise would try to help, but she could only bring up one gift at a time, assuming she could find any, and she was constantly having to come up for air!

Dan the Killer Whale, who didn't help at all (even tried to eat Peggy a couple of times), cause he just didn't care, would scarp up most of the goodies before they even had a chance at falling to the bottom where the village bottom feeders lived...they so much wanted to experience Christmas with Santa.

Finally, Jennifer the Sea Bass had an idea...although a little heavy set, she struggled through the pressure of the depths of the ocean, and with all her might and fin power to the surface where Bob the Jellyfish hung out. 

Bob was always glowing a little, so she asked him if he could bump up the phosphorus a bit and hang out over the village of bottom dwellers on Christmas Eve? 

He was reluctant at first, but when she promised him a special night where he could put his tentacles tightly around her, he agreed to do it!

So, on Christmas Eve, after bulking up on Selenium along with a meal of crabs and a lobster that Jennifer brought for him, he stayed on top of the sea, right above the trench where the villagers live...and with all his might he glowed his tentacles off all he could. 

Sure enough, as Santa was crossing over the Southern Pacific Ocean by Catalina Island, Santa spotted Bob the Glowing Jellyfish, and doubled back around.

Santa knew right way what was going on, "Hey Bob, is that you?"

Bob replied, "Yea, and all my village friends, too!"

Santa showered them with gifts, candy canes, and tasty little shrimp.

They all had a very Merry Christmas for years to come, until one day Bob was absconded by some Japanese fishermen who sold him to a nutrient factory where they processed him into hundreds of bottles of virility capsules

However, the drop site was already established by then.

Santa remembers cause he takes two Bobs before going out every Christmas Eve!

And that's how Bob the Jellyfish saved Christmas...make sure to tell the kids...

Merry Christmas

Kirk Carter

12/20/2013

Cali Santa Blues

Kirk Carter@ Chew Bear Productions@ Copyright 2013

CALI SANTA BLUES

Traditional 12 chord blues

4/6 "B"

Santa was coming to California, forgot to check his fruit;

Officer Dildo had him grounded, that cop is such a brute;

So, in the morning, Santa came by parachute!

Well Santa be the man, he do all he can;

Even Mom and Daddy, don't even have a plan;

I got the Cali Santa Blues, be talking to you, too;

See that bearded headed man, he know what to do!

Milk and cookies on the east coast, might do the trick;

But, west coast buds, Santa go through quick!

The Cali Santa Blues last all day;

He'll be partying down in Saint John, come about May.

So, you see him at the mall in his big red suit;

Then he's in the parade, and smells like Brute;

He's falling in the stadium in a red parachute;

If you see him coming, give him a hoot!

He already knows if your naughty or nice;

You might get a chain of gold, or some shiny ice!

Now Ginny Sue, didn't know what to ask;

But she made a list for Santa, and Santa did the task!

The Cali Santa Blues, be talking to you;

See that bearded man, you know what to do.

Little Bobby Brown wanted an X-Box;

He got that along with six pairs of socks.

The Cali Santa Blues, he come your way;

When he come a calling, just know what to say!

(Take It Home)

I got the blues, down on the west coast;

I got the moves, let's have a pig roast;

(Santa got some booze now)

The Cali Santa Blues, be coming to you;

Have a Merry Christmas, Happy New Year, too!

Santa Claus Rap

Kirk Carter@ Chew Bear Productions@ Copyright 2013

SANTA CLAUS RAP

4/4

"B"

Went down to the mall, Santa Claus made the call;

He was taking Christmas orders, so I brought along my pa.

Got up on his knee, kinda smelled like pee;

He was wearing sunglasses, he could barely even see!

So, I told him, I want an X-box...Jordan's, too;

He smiled at my Papa, what's a Santa to do?

This boy want big toy, pretty pricey shoe!

Pa looked perplexed, checking his cash;

Reaching in his shoe, where he kept his stash.

Getting the attention of the security guard;

Papa just reaching for his credit card.

He just smiled at Santa, I think we got this done;

Old Lady out of town, I just wanna have some fun!

And Santa smiled back, I'll see what I can do;

Get you a hoochy Mama, she all brand new!

So, Santa and Pa, left the mall for the bar;

Wearing my new Jordans, Pa left me in the car!

Gone 'bout half an hour, but returning quick;

Smelled weed on Papa's breath, so did Saint knick...

With a pretty little honey, never seen her before;

I swore to the man upstairs, this girl was a whore!

Don't do it Papa, as he gave her butt a smack;

Don't worry boy, Daddy's coming back.

So, the two left the lot, with Santa in tow;

Playing with his beard, and messing with my soul!

Across the street they went, to Sally's Motel;

Please don't let this happen, Daddy's going to hell...

But, he soon returned, with a look of disgust;

Guess the hoochy Mama, turned out to be a bust.

He just said, I thought about you...

And going behind Mama is not the right thing to do!

I said, I understand...so Papa get some wood;

Cause everybody getting presents down in the hood.

Thanked him for the shoes, as Santa walked away;

Waved back to Santa, X-Box on Christmas Day!

And back at home, Pa smiled as I sat in his lap;

Thanks for saving me with the Santa Claus Rap...

Okay, we're done here...Merry Christmas

Kirk Carter 12/16/2013

Deep Thought-Watch Me Write

Kirk Carter@ Chew Bear Productions-Copyright 2013

WATCH ME WRITE!

The other day at the park, penning in yet another page;

My character's weren't working, I was all in a rage!

When I looked up to see a couple or two;

Just sitting there watching me, guess they had nothing to do.

So, for whatever reason, I questioned their stare;

They had all just smoked blunts, how dare that I care?

But, I questioned the interest, perhaps seeking insight;

Of why you came here, to just watch me write?

And a girl of one couple, said "We so envy you...

Your characters and emotions, we don't have a clue...

Of where your ideas come from, we feel helpless and blank...

Is it some drugs you are using, is it something you drank?"

"I said neither, it comes from a spiritual source;

I can't say how it works, it's a cosmic force!

And as far as origination, I bring my thought in, too;

But it's my Guardian Angels, that tell my pen what to do!

I turned back to my writing, feeling they were all satisfied;

Of knowing I was different, my purpose I not hide.

And soon they all got up, as dusk turned into night;

One girl came up and hugged me..."I just Love to watch you write!"

Based on a true story...Film at eleven!                                                      Kirk Carter

                                                                                                                      12/13/13