Deep Thought: Loose In The Pants

Loose In The Pants

Was out at the Honky-Tonk Saturday night;

Had some Beers, shots of Whiskey, even got into a fight...

When a friend, her name was Gwen, lit up some Crack;

The night started churning, there was no turning back!

She took me to the dance floor, and boy did we dance;

When suddenly I felt something, loose in my pants.

Now, I'm not trying to be crass, but something was coming out my ass!

So, I excused myself and ran to the can;

Getting cleaned up, that was the plan.

In I go, through the bathroom door;

Toilets overflowing, there was Crap on the floor!

So, I doubled back, waved good bye to Gwen;

Down to my friends house, but I couldn't get in.

Now, it's going down my legs and into my boots;

Wondering how in the Hell I got into this Cahoots'?

I'm sloshing and squishing, some Girls said, "Hello";

As I waddled past the Bar, like some walking Jello.

Found a hose behind the Bar, where I tried to get clean;

Trying to avoid being detected, avoid being seen!

Walking out, I spotted my Brother driving his Truck;

Flagged him down, Thank God, finally some good luck...

Went down 'bout a block, my brother started having a fit;

"What you doing Man, Did you just take a Shit?"

I answered, "Yea, a little while back, you can still tell?"

"Man, you smell like a Skunk that came straight outta Hell!"

So, he stopped the Truck saying, "Get you Ass in the rear!"

"Getting out this smell is 'bout all I fear!"

And I finally got home, all renewed again;

Never doing Crack again, that's never a win.

So, now I'm all clean and back to the Dance;

But, I'll always remember something Loose In My Pants!

Kirk Carter

3/3/2016

Deep Thought