Deep Thought: Joan Went Down The River

Joan Went Down The River

One of those rare shining lights that compounded the art of being a fiery feisty female back before feminism was a practiced word!

I was lucky enough to meet Joan several times when I just start mixing audio at my stint at the House of Blues back in Las Vegas. Official position: Audio 2, I was the guy who ran wire and got to put the breast mikes on the ladies...yea man! Although, she facially looked a bit pasted together, she still had that beauty that we all came to Love about her. Her passions were deep, but her demands were minimal. Her wit was quick, out of the box, and knocked out one liners about her observations on the human condition like nobody's business!

Frank Sinatra called her, "One heavy broad, real chatty Jew butternut, gotta Love her style baby!"

While George Burns (who I also did some shows for at Caesar's Palace), just said, "She needs to try staying more focused...never understood gals like her... what am I saying, I was married to the exact opposite, Joan would have pounded Gracie like a rag doll, what was I thinking...yea focus, the girl's all over the map!"

George Carlton once admitted, "Yea, I stole a lot of her shit...I mean observations...just changed the delivery, she knows my situation, hippy dippy weather men have to eat, too...one cool chick!"

Point being, is that when Melissa started teaming up with her, one couldn't help that her daughter couldn't quite keep up with her speed, her verbal visions. Mom just wore her out!

Focused and quick witted, she tackled any issue, any subject, she was a natural at simply giving the audience a satirical opinion, no holds barred, just straight up!

Bill Cosby once refereed to her, "As a bowl of Jello that never quite solidifies, always shaking around refusing to set!

Don Rickles just said, "She could have made a killing by allowing BASF put an ad saying on her face, (This face is the product of tomorrows technology) like what...this dame was a Jew before "I" was Jewish!"

And she did, entertaining all of us in blessed memory. She had told Melissa in one of her books, "Don't worry kid, your getting all my money, but I want marching bands at my funeral, dancing girls, a big party, blow the roof off the coffin doors, I want movies to watch if I don't go to the light right away, and get hung up in a flight cancelled situation, it could happen? I want a cd player with some Tony Bennett, Frank, and a little Dino. Her last request was a gold toe tag specially crafted by George Winston...

I'm waiting to see if she'll be one of my Guardian Angels, but ah...she's still in make-up!

I'll Wait...

Kirk Carter

Austin, Texas